By: Antonio Stephens, Özemi Wellness Resident and Coach
In today's fast-paced world, where the pressure to stay constantly connected and productive is pervasive, taking a break from work and our day-to-day routines has become increasingly vital. Recognizing the potential of burnout, it is crucial to prioritize self-care and allow ourselves moments of rest and rejuvenation.
Recently, I embarked on a two-week journey of detachment, disconnecting from work obligations and embracing a period of tranquility.
This experience revealed incredible insights.
As I began my two weeks of rest, the first and most noticeable change was the liberation from work-related stress and responsibilities. The weight that had accumulated started to dissipate, allowing a sense of calm to wash over me. It became apparent that this break was not merely about physical relaxation but also about mental and emotional recuperation.
During this period of rest, I learned to appreciate the art of doing nothing. In a society that glorifies busyness, it was a revelation to realize that doing nothing can be immensely productive for our well-being. Stepping away from the demands of work and other life priorities, I indulged in simple pleasures: reading a book on the beach, exploring new cities and their cultures, and simply sitting in silence gazing at the birds and listening to the wind rustling through the trees. These moments allowed me to reconnect with myself, allowing my mind to wander freely and my creativity to flourish. It became clear that doing nothing is not a waste of time but rather a catalyst for self-reflection and personal growth.
Spending quality time alone or with a partner is a vital aspect of self-care that often gets neglected in our hectic lives. During my two-week hiatus, I dedicated time to both solitude (as mentioned above) and shared experiences. When alone, I had the opportunity to delve deeper into my thoughts, dreams, desires, and spiritual practices/reflections. It enabled me to rediscover forgotten passions, reevaluate my priorities, and gain a newfound clarity about my life's direction.
On the other hand, spending time with my partner allowed us to reconnect on a profound level. Without the distractions of our day-to-day, we could engage in meaningful and deep conversations, embark on spontaneous adventures, and strengthen our bond. It served as a reminder of the importance of nurturing our relationships outside the confines of our daily routines.
Beyond the personal revelations, my time away from work provided me with the opportunity to connect with the world around me. Engaging in activities, such as immersing myself in cultural and spiritual experiences – bringing me immense joy and fulfillment. These experiences reminded me of the interconnectedness of humanity and the beauty that lies beyond the confines of my professional life.
]]>Acknowledging the potential of burnout and making self-care a priority is crucial for our overall well-being and productivity. So, if you find yourself overwhelmed and exhausted, consider taking some time to rediscover the joy of doing nothing, strengthen your relationships, and explore the wonders that await beyond your work-life boundaries. In these moments of rest, we can find the inspiration and energy to thrive both personally and professionally.
With Unconditional Love, Always ❤️
Antonio
As Mother's Day approaches, it's a time to reflect on the love, sacrifices, and dedication that mothers give to their children.
Growing up as a first-generation immigrant in the United States, I witnessed firsthand the incredible sacrifices that my mother and other immigrant mothers make for their families every day. From learning new languages to adapting to new cultures, these mothers face countless challenges while trying to provide their children with the best opportunities possible.
Despite these challenges, immigrant mothers are often the glue that holds their families together. They instill important values, traditions, and cultural practices in their children helping them navigate their environments' complexities. They teach their children the importance of hard work, resilience, and determination, and they (and all mothers at that) always put their children's needs before their own – I know my mother and the village of strong women I grew up with did.
My mother (and grandmother and her sister) always found ways to make our time together special. Some of my favorite memories with them were the time we spent in the kitchen. Cooking was more than just a way to nourish our bodies – it was a way for us to connect, to share stories, and to bond over our shared experiences.
As we cooked, they would share stories of their childhood, of growing up in a small village/town in Jamaica. They talked about the traditions, the food, and the people who shaped them into the women they are today. In turn, I would survey their experiences against my own in the US, navigating two cultures and identities.
Through our conversations, we learned from each other, shared our hopes and dreams, and built a deep sense of understanding and unspoken love. Our time in the kitchen was a reminder that, despite our differences, we shared a common bond – the bond of mother (grandmother, sister) and child.
This Mother's Day, let's take a moment to honor the sacrifices of all mothers and celebrate their resilience, strength, and unwavering love. Whether it's through cooking, storytelling, or simply spending time together, let's cherish the moments that we have with our mothers and show them how much we appreciate all that they do for us.
Thank you and speak again soon.
Antonio
May is Mental Health Awareness Month, a time to raise awareness and reduce the stigma surrounding mental health issues. This year's theme, “Look around, Look within,” emphasizes the importance of our surroundings in shaping our mental health and encourages us to take a closer look at both our external and internal environments.
Our surroundings have a significant impact on our mental health, and this impact can be positive or negative. For instance, living and operating in a safe and stable environment can promote a sense of security and reduce stress, while an unstable or unsafe environment can lead to anxiety and fear. Similarly, being surrounded by supportive and nurturing relationships can promote feelings of happiness and contentment, while social isolation can lead to feelings of loneliness and depression.
When we "look around," we are taking stock of the people, places, and things in our lives that can affect our mental health. This can include our living situations, work environments, relationships (including family), and the communities in which we live and serve. By paying attention to these factors and taking steps to address any negative influences, we can create a more supportive and positive external environment for ourselves so we can thrive and show up at our best.
But "looking within" is equally important in promoting mental health and well-being and is what I would classify as our spiritual wellness. This involves reflecting on and engaging with our thoughts, emotions, and beliefs. By becoming more aware of our own mental and emotional states, we can identify any negative patterns or tendencies that may be holding us back and take steps to address them.
This can involve practices such as mindfulness meditation, therapy, yoga, or activities that allow us to enter a complete state of flow. By engaging in these practices, we can develop a greater sense of self-awareness and cultivate a more positive mindset and psychology, which can promote better mental health and well-being.
The theme of "Look Around, Look Within" reminds us that mental health is not solely an individual issue, but also involves our communities and social connections. By paying attention to both our external and internal environments and taking steps to promote positive influences, we can collectively shift and change our outcomes for a better world. This Mental Health Awareness Month, let’s take the time to look around and look within, and commit to promoting mental health and well-being for all.
Thanks for reading and take good care of yourselves.
Speak again soon!
Antonio
]]>I recently had the chance to sit with Justin Borroto on my show, Life Chats With Friends. They are a Miami native who is passionate about love, spirituality, healing, justice, and yoga. They have previously worked as a high school math teacher, recruiter, and diversity, equity, and inclusion practitioner in Washington D.C.
Who are you and what are some of the experiences that have shaped your worldview?
Thank you for initiating this conversation. I have been reflecting on my relationship with God for the past two years, and it has been a significant aspect of my life. However, until now, it has only existed in my thoughts and journal entries. I am grateful for this opportunity to express my thoughts.
Regarding my identity, I prefer the term "gender expansive" instead of "non-binary" because it better reflects my identity as not defined by binary genders. I embody both masculinity and femininity, as well as neither and both, which is an integral part of my spiritual connection. My gender identity allows me to exist in more than one world simultaneously, and it is always at the forefront of my thoughts when discussing spirituality and my relationship with God.
Talk to me about your definition of God…
I define God as the essence of everything that ever was and everything that ever will be. Scientifically speaking, people refer to the Big Bang as the creation of the universe, but God existed even before that event and set off the chain of events that led to it. In my view, God is the source of the energy and vibrations that make up the universe. When I contemplate God, I am acknowledging all the infinite events that had to happen for me to be here in this moment having this conversation. My life has been informed by all those events, and I am grateful for them. To me, God is the spirit that connects everything and everyone.
Do you think there is another God somewhere else?
It's difficult to fully comprehend the infinite nature of God and the universe, but faith and personal experiences can provide a sense of understanding and resonance with these concepts. Different spiritual and cultural traditions have their own ways of conceptualizing and understanding the nature of the divine and the universe, and it's important to respect and learn from these diverse perspectives. Ultimately, what's most important is cultivating a sense of connection and reverence for the sacred in whatever way feels true and meaningful to you.
Do you belong to any organized religions and if so, what role do they play in the journey to self?
History has shown us examples of how religion has been used to justify oppression and colonization, and it's important to acknowledge and address these issues. At the same time, I think it's important to recognize that organized religion can also provide a sense of community and support for people, and can be a source of comfort and inspiration for many. Ultimately, it's up to each individual to decide whether organized religion resonates with them or not, and to approach it with a critical and discerning perspective.
Tell me about your encounter with Source, One, God, Truth?
It can be challenging to reconcile the concept of God with past traumatic experiences or with the complexity of the world around us. And sometimes, people may turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms or disassociate from reality to avoid confronting those challenges. But developing a personal relationship with the divine can provide a sense of safety, security, and purpose in life. It's okay to have doubts and to challenge your own beliefs, but it's also important to remain open to the possibility of spiritual experiences and guidance. The nature of God and the universe may be beyond our full understanding, but cultivating a sense of connection and reverence can bring a sense of peace and fulfillment to our lives.
Is there anything that surprised you as you worked to redefine your relationship with Brahman?
I've come a long way from where I started, and it all started with surrendering and being true to myself. I took baby steps to get here, but now I feel like I've crossed a threshold. Working through what my truth is was a process, but now I feel free. The responsibilities that come with this new state involve recognizing that God is operating through me and surrendering to what needs to happen. It's a constant battle between my free will and the need to surrender to the bigger picture. I've come to realize that I don't need to be part of a big religious community to hear God's voice. It's an ongoing experience of being and being still enough to hear God in and around me at all times. Sometimes, it's as simple as looking at a train.
Sitting with God is an ongoing experience of just being, and being still and quiet enough to hear God in and around me at all times. Sometimes, even the simplest things like looking at a train ticket or the blooming of flowers can remind me of God's presence. Through my journey from atheism to my current state of freedom, I've learned that being in service to others is a part of my purpose, helping them find their own illumination and purpose in life.
Key Quotes from Justin
“God encompasses all that has been and all that will ever be.”
“The method you use to seek God is not as important as the sincerity and dedication you bring to the quest.”
“To know God is to understand that we are both everything and nothing, always learning and never truly knowing.”
You can listen to the full segment on Spotify or Apple Podcast. You can also watch it on YouTube. @Life Chats With Friends.
Thanks and speak again soon.
Antonio
Claiming my presence and truth has been the most daunting, exhilarating and liberating experience in my life so far – crossing the threshold that is society and its labels, collective agreements on what is, what should be and defying those principles as I begin to rewrite the pages in front of me.
This journey has been an exploration of my thoughts, emotions, and beliefs that have helped me gain a deeper understanding of self. It’s been a deep process of self-reflection, self-awareness, and self-discovery.
The first step in the journey to inner truth is to become more mindful of your own thoughts and emotions. This involves taking the time to observe your own mental and emotional states, and to become more aware of the patterns and tendencies that shape your behavior and responses to the world around you.
This journey involves questioning your own assumptions and biases, and being open to the possibility that your beliefs and perceptions about yourself and others may not always be accurate or complete, and are oftentimes fear in disguise presenting as something else to keep you from existing in your upper room.
Getting to inner truth – self, source or Atman – involves engaging in practices such as meditation (in its many forms), cultivating practical applicable wisdom, journaling (so you can capture and reflect on the changes taking place) and therapy that can help to deepen your self-awareness and understanding of yourself. These practices can be helpful and at times critical in identifying patterns and tendencies that may be holding you back, and can provide insights into how to live a more fulfilling and authentic life in your authentic nature and power..
Ultimately, the journey to inner truth is a process of self-acceptance. It's moving away from separateness and allowing your smaller self to give permission to the divine within to express as and through you (god). It’s saying yes to your own unique path in this lifetime and yes to the things you require to learn and grow through. Aligning to your potential requires deep self compassion, surrender and knowing that you are everything including the light you feel inside looking to crack its structures to announce its presence (awakening).
I’m standing at the threshold between fear and divinity and am straddling across both lines. See, what I’ve learned is that fear is a liar. It’s the master manipulator and is often in disguise as truth giving you subtle reminders that your comfort in conformity is where safety and certainty lies. Here’s the key: Feel fear, announce yourself/presence and then move past it. This can at times be challenging and uncomfortable but remain present, maintain perspective and continue to rise above to your upper room where fear cannot exist.
This is something I’m still working on and learning to trust that I’m being carried by many I may never meet or encounter.
They/she are Bhraman, source, one, that is within me – pure bliss, freedom, and liberation.
Expressing as your divine self is essential to connecting with your inner wisdom and higher self. When you tap into this inner wisdom, you access a deep sense of clarity and purpose, allowing you to communicate your ideas and feelings with greater confidence and authenticity.
The more you bypass fear, you begin to realize how important it is to let go of limiting beliefs and self-doubt that have the power to block your ability to express yourself fully. It's about being true to yourself and allowing your unique light to shine brightly. By speaking your truth and sharing your authentic self with the world, you inspire others to do the same and create a ripple effect of positive change.
Embrace your unique perspective and trust in your own intuition, knowing that you have valuable insights and experiences to share with the world. This is where I’m seeking to reside and am working on claiming the kingdom.
Repeat after me: I know who I am. I know what I am. I know how I serve. I am free. I am free. I am free.
Thanks and speak again, soon. Much love, always.
Antonio
Love. Coming to this state of being was not an easy walk.
For nearly 21 years, I’d struggled with the concept of this word and term. I am an immigrant from Jamaica and grew up in a small town in upstate New York. I spent most of my early childhood moving from home to home; living with aunts, uncles and grandparents while my mother worked to seek opportunities in the United States for a better life for my brother and I.
I met my mother for the first time when I was nine years old. I’ll never forget seeing the New York City skyline and the smell of her perfume as we hugged and she welcomed us to our new home.
Love.
One day, I was sitting in the living area and saw a few candles flying across the room and shortly after, screaming to follow, shattered glass on the floor, tears and the look of distress and discernment in my mother's eyes. So much confusion and no explanation. She had been in an abusive marriage and relationship for years and this too, my brother and I, and other family members and friends would also come to experience firsthand in the weeks and years ahead.
It’s hard to explain what it’s like to be in an abusive relationship or household until you’re actually in it. There were many nights I‘d lay in bed feeling trapped, contemplating running away or just trying to grasp why everyone seemed OK with what was happening. Too many times, I'd be on the other side of the door hearing my mom cry for help and calling my name – feeling paralyzed – and not knowing where to turn or what to do. Too many times have I myself been physically and mentally abused to the point where I couldn’t go to school or had to make shift stories about the bruises on my body, the causes of my fractures and my state of mind and behaviors linked to my self-worth and esteem. We’d go through this vicious cycle and every time they would come back to each other in the form or expression of love. This was the model I experienced growing up and into early adulthood.
It wasn’t until I first started dating that I realized I didn’t know how to love. I was so confused, blocked off and caged – afraid to let anyone in or expose my heart that was wrapped in so much fear and trauma. To my ex-partners, I apologize and hope our experiences were part of your collective awakening.
Here’s the truth, the more I put myself in the presence and face of love – true and sometimes unconditional – the easier it became to accept the reality of the concept. See love is not all roses and flowers. I’ve come to learn that within the experience exists it’s polarities of pain and pleasure and often it’s a painful experience that’s your gateway to the other side. Maybe this is what my parents were experiencing to some degree at the time and didn’t have the tools to do the healing required to find balance in their collective grievances. I also know they had their own models they were working from as Jamaican immigrants.
Having experienced both ends of the extreme and finding balance within, love to me is forgiveness. To be able to look your perpetrator in the eyes and release the hold (pain, anger and fear) with the utmost compassion for the deep-seated pain and unhealed scars that they carry. Love is rising above and learning to sit with your stuff (shame, guilt, fear, anxiety) daily in stillness so you can experience the glimmer of light behind that is divine self. Love is claiming your presence and the truth of who you are. Love is establishing your boundaries for how you want to be treated and being able to articulate what it means to be in the space of love with you – as a partner, parent, friend, co-worker, etc. Love is me, it’s you, it’s reflected in the world around us (reflective of source) and there’s enough for everyone.
I spent so much time denying its presence and claimed for years that it would never find me. I‘ve learned that you must believe you’re deserving of it and only then can you experience heaven on earth. I’ve been fortunate enough to have found someone that’s my gateway into the portal of true, raw, authentic love. I mean pure bliss at times. Someone that helps me to see and experience the best parts of myself in ways that I haven’t before – bringing forth the goddess within to express – this someone is soon to be my husband. Thank you, Charlie. This experience has forced and accelerated my journey to self, allowing me to tap into that place of equanimity where I can love the perfect imperfection of everyone and everything just the way it is. This is a practice and if you find and create moments to get still, you’ll recognize that these polarities exist within you as well.
Abuse, shame, fear and guilt didn’t define me, they were some of my greatest gifts and teachings. They’ve set me on the path and climb to my own mountain top(s) in search of liberation. Regardless of our circumstances, what we’ve been through or how society deems some out groups, we are ALL deserving of love.
If no one has told you today or this year, know that I LOVE YOU.
Happy Valentine's Day.
Talk to you in a bit,
Much love,
Antonio
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Learning to let go of your self-attachments is one of the most important steps and keys to your own liberation.
We all have these ideas and thoughts that shape our identity and perception of self. These are thoughts that we cling to about what and who we are. Some of these often come with shame, sadness, guilt, or fear which we tend to hide behind and dim our light.
I’ve been there.
For many, attachments are formed in early childhood and stem from trauma or memorable instances that had a significant impact on our lives and how we see ourselves. For me, as an immigrant child, this was my mother leaving my brother and I at a very young age to come to the United States from Jamaica to seek better opportunities. My biological father walking out and away from us then too, and I’ve covered this in previous articles, but everything that came with figuring out my identity and sexuality as a Black queer man.
Understand this, by claiming your presence and authentic power you can dissolve and liberate your attachments, which will in turn help you to live a life that truly shines.
Looking for a place to start? Here are a few tools and insights you can begin leveraging today. Recognize that these mechanisms require practice and consistency before you begin seeing their benefits.
The things you’ve submerged to the depths of your subconscious or have neglected for years, because of fear of the pain they may cause or how people may perceive you, are actually your greatest opportunities to grow and flourish. We all have these places within us. You can learn to work with them. You’ll be surprised at what they can teach you. As you explore, practice self-compassion and give yourself grace.
Journaling about whatever comes to surface is a great place to start. It may also be helpful to work with a therapist or medical professional that can help you organize and reframe your thoughts in a productive manner.
Like any machine or piece of equipment, our minds are powerful tools that require on-going maintenance and fine tuning to ensure we operate optimally. Learning to quiet your mind is one of the greatest practices. By indulging in the practice, you can become a master at releasing attachments – letting the phenomenon of life arise, exist and change while you remain present. Practicing or adding daily routines such as mediation, physical exercise, listening to music or hatha yoga could be very beneficial to you. The more spaciousness and presence you create within yourself, you’ll get to a place where you can begin to love everything just the way it is – recognizing that this is all a manifestation of the divine.
To choose yourself first means leading and expressing a life that works best for you. It means embracing the totality of who you are and what makes you uniquely YOU. It’s okay to disappoint others, but never disappoint or abandon yourself to make others happy. This is so important in claiming your authentic power and liberation. What you’ll come to learn is the more you say yes to the things you’ve deemed critical and important in helping you be at your best, the closer you get to the never ending magical unfolding of self or the core of who you really are.
Repeat after me: I know who I am, I know what I am, I know how I serve. I am here, I am here, I am here.
Claim your presence today!
Thanks and talk to you again soon.
Antonio
]]>Our religious and faith-based beliefs shape so much of who we are and how we lead and carry out our lives. Many of us grew up with teachings spanning one or maybe a few religions – including Christianity and Judaism to name a few.
As society continues to move through its collective awakening, and we experience events such as the pandemic, damaging floods, wildfires and record-breaking hurricanes, more of our faith-based perceptions are shifting and being tested as we reckon with the concept of God – that which is unfathomable, one, source, brahman – and what we’ve been taught over the years.
I was born and raised Christian (Baptist). Growing up, I did everything that was asked of me to be a “Child of God.” I very quickly felt there was something off with what was being taught and what was deemed “right and wrong.” By the time I was 13 I realized that my sexuality was some sort of hindrance. I also felt unseen and not loved based on the teachings at the time – and to some degree still today.
This feeling of alienation drove me to challenge everything I’ve come to know and understand about the church. In fact, for a moment, I told myself I was an atheist and that this would be better than living in a blanket of shame, guilt and self-doubt created by Man.
For far too long, Man has used religion and God as a means to suppress and outcast certain minority communities and cause them harm. The consequence is something I myself and countless others have and continue to suffer today.
It’s much easier to do as we’re told and follow the rules that have been laid out to reach, have a conversation or get to sit with and experience the ever-present and loving being we call God.
Are you willing to explore the boundaries of your own mind to seek truth?
What I’ve found is that there is no one or right path to God and anyone that tells you otherwise, is a fool to believe so. There are many benefits to being part of a spiritual or religious community, but your connection stems from the depths of your own heart and your understanding of the life you’ve been granted and your experience here on earth.
Religious practices and faith-based beliefs can help you identify and understand the divinity that sits within. We all possess it. Based on your learnings, how you practice and engage is up to you and should be unique to your lived experience. A church or religious institution is not the only place you can find God. God is ever present –- in me, you, that flower and the chaos of our melodrama – and can be experienced in the split second of a thought. Slow down. If you pay close attention, you’ll recognize that life is always speaking to you, and you’re always being tested.
Can you move your thoughts past earthly pleasures, desires and outcomes to sit in a place of true equanimity for the way things really are?
In the last two years, I’ve taken the time to explore mostly all religions; researching and reading historical texts and scriptures. I’ve come to realize that they all have their flaws, but what’s made the most sense and has stuck for me is Hinduism. I’ve enjoyed the philosophies, rituals, practical teachings and most importantly the fact that all religious or faith-based Gods are honored and included.
Embarking on this journey to truth has led me to my true self. The one unafraid to step into my authentic power to work out my Karma and live my Dharma to change and touch lives; leaving the world a better place from which I found it.
Don’t be afraid to question or go deeper. If you feel caged or stuck, your situation can change with inspired action. Put one foot in front of the other and continue to notice the space in between the fleeting moments. Trust your intuition and respond when life calls. Your divinity is unmatched – learn or continue to find more of who you are through your practice(s) and make the most of this life and your time here.
Thanks, and speak again soon. If this touched you, feel free to share the message with others. Happy Holidays.
Antonio
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Here are three steps to get you started on your journey to living a life more aligned to your highest self.
The mind or that voice in your head (self-talk) is so powerful and can either work in your favor or against you. How many times a day do we all get triggered and lost in deep thoughts tied to fear and unworthiness; developing these harsh narratives about ourselves and our place in the world? The first and most important step to finding harmony in life is to actively participate in managing your mind and your thoughts. With practice and over time, you can get to a place where you can sit with these thoughts, notice them for what they are and then let them go if they do not serve you. Regular meditative practices are a great place to start for self-help. If you need greater assistance, you should look to find and build a relationship with a medical professional or therapist. Once you learn to quiet the mind, you’ll be able to notice the spaciousness in and around you and will develop the capability and capacity to transform your pain into compassion for yourself and others.
The mind and body are one; what you feed them is what you become. Habits such as regular exercise or high-intensity activity are key to finding the harmony that you desire without friction – learning to reach beyond desires and developing the will to tap into your innate being through recurring moments of intense focus. This could become your meditative practice or merely an outlet to declutter so you can focus on the right things. Also, eating a healthy and balanced diet and getting proper rest will ensure that you function optimally daily. If you need support or encouragement to protect your physical wellbeing, there are many online resources you can consider. Don’t be afraid to reach out to a friend or a coach to get the help you need or to have them hold you accountable.
Finding true harmony won’t happen overnight. You’ll need to get in the dance and pick up skills and tools from your experiences to figure out what works best for you. We have this misconception about pain and suffering and their role in our lives. We as human beings dislike or stray away from discomfort, but have you ever thought about the possibilities from learning how to operate in a state or environment like this?
Like every star in our solar system or diamond on planet earth, all these beauties grew into what they were from a long standing period of pressure, which transcended into growth and incredible transformation. There’s always something to learn from your experiences – good or bad – and you have the power to transform your grievances into your superpowers.
Learning to do this, is true harmony and alignment.
Commit to creating the space and time to build and develop your practice(s). Once you’re aligned to your highest self, you’ll be able to engage in this great dance or leela called life and make the world your playground. The power sits deep within.
Thanks for reading and speak again soon!
Antonio
]]>It’s that time of year when many of us fall into the traps of the holiday season. It becomes so easy to neglect our good habits and for some, we often fall into this cycle of self-martyrdom. How many times have you thought to yourself, “oh well, it’s winter (depending on where you are in the world) and it’s the holiday season so I’ll just let go and pick up my routine in the New Year?” We’ve all been there. But, know you can stay mindful and still relish in the joys of the season in a healthy and productive way. Everything is about balance and in finding that, you’ll be able to remain at your best during what can be a stressful period for some.
Among techniques such as meditation etc., the best way to keep yourself balanced and on track during this time is to keep up with your physical exercise or wellness routine. Our bodies are our temples and we must take good care of them. Treat and nurture your body to remain in an optimal state of flow. If you lead a busy or fast paced life and feel as though you struggle to find time to exercise and take care of yourself, here are a few suggestions and ideas you can throw into your mix to help keep you on track.
Many of us sit behind our desk just listening in or loosely participating in calls. This is a great opportunity to walk and talk or leverage the time you spend sitting dormant to get to the gym or get on that stair stepper. If you do have to actively participate in a virtual meeting, you can send your materials in advance of the meeting or ask a team member to present on your behalf so that you can get up and get active. Don’t be afraid to ask for accommodations or to verbalize to your manager or team what you need to show up as your best.
Protecting and maintaining your physical and mental health and wellbeing requires clear intention and smart planning. Start small, build a system that works for you and advance from there. The more consistent you become with small atomic habits, the easier it is to show up for yourself and those around you. Remember, this is a long-term play – yes, there will be some instant gratification, but your body, mind and soul will thank you years down the road.
If you lead a busy life and feel like there just is not enough time during the day to tend to yourself, keep in mind that your “sacred hours” before (5 a.m. - 9 a.m.) and after (5 p.m. - 10 p.m.) work is yours to use and do with as you see fit. Prioritize 30 minutes a day to get your heart rate up by doing something as simple as going for a walk (or body weight squats in your living room or office) and see what difference that makes for you.
You can begin with extrinsic motivators to get you going or to keep you on track and over time transcend this into an intrinsic practice. Setting goals and targets is a great way to hold yourself accountable. This, adjacent to a strong plan or clear intention will surely get you to the finish line. Once you achieve your goal, take the time to reflect on what you’ve achieved, how you feel and any notable changes in your overall well-being. Having accountability partners – a friend, partner, coach or co-worker, is a great way to keep your process exciting and perpetuating.
“Save the people, save the planet!”
This one is simple but so easy for many of us to overlook due to convenience. There’s so much value in simply deciding to ditch technology and machines and walking instead. What difference can you as an individual make for not only yourself, but our current and future environment if you were mindful of your transportation habits?
You’ve heard this many times, but it’s so true: you must put your mask on first before you can help others. Without a sound body, other parts of your machine over compensate and long-term that will have a lasting effect on your overall health and wellbeing.
Take good care of yourselves this holiday season and keep up with your good habits.
Thanks and speak to you again, soon.
Antonio
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By: Antonio Stephens, Özemi Wellness Resident and Coach
The holiday season is a time of reflection, and for some that brings challenges. During this period, be mindful of the advances of humankind, the progress we’ve made collectively and those that have come before us making it possible for us to live and experience the world the way many of us do today.
Your journey to your mountaintop is yours alone. But, one thing we all share is the desire for real joy. Understand that experiencing joy is something you practice daily, and that begins with gratitude.
Better up describes Gratitude as a conscious, positive emotional muscle that one can develop over time to express when feeling thankful for something, whether tangible or intangible.
A substantial amount of research highlights the value of training the mind to think positively and acknowledging the good things happening around and within us. Dr. Martin Seligman, the founding father of Positive Psychology – a movement premised on encouraging an emphasis on happiness, well-being, and positivity with the aim to improve quality of life – gave us the framework and key to authentic happiness.
High level findings across the positive psychology space:
Now that you have the background and context, it’s time to practice. As we fall deeper into the season of giving and reflection, what stands out for you? Despite your current circumstance or situation, know that you have the power to control your outlook on the world around you and your lived experience.
Getting started
Saying thank you
This sounds so simple, but how often do we forget to do this? This is a great place to start your gratitude practice today. Saying thank you to those that support you in your life or make you feel positive emotions can have a ripple effect in how you make the individual feel. When I thank people, I prefer to send a handwritten note. The best option is to send flowers. But even just a text and phone call go a long way to show your appreciation.
Typically in my communication , I share what I’m thankful for and reference a specific event or moment that we shared. I reflect on how the individual made me feel as a result of their actions – or just how great it was to be together, indicating that exact positive emotion I felt. This exercise helps me cherish every moment, interaction, and encounter I have, knowing that none are guaranteed and are unique in some capacity to my personal lived experience on this earth.
Looking in the mirror
Though it may seem at times that the world around us is caving in and all hope may be lost, by simply looking in the mirror and recognizing that just the mere fact that you exist is a miracle and something to be grateful for can change your perspective and outlook on the life you’ve been granted. We know we still have many societal issues we need to tackle to ensure everyone has a “fair chance,” but by recognizing and celebrating your existence, that puts you in a place of power to take inspired action to create and develop the world you want to see and live in.
Embracing challenges and turning them into growth opportunities
Here’s the secret… as human beings, we all experience challenging and difficult times. All of us! I see so many people around me chasing this never ending bliss trip. Like everything that goes up, we must all come down. How far down you come is up to you though and is something in your control. The more you learn to check your ego at the door and develop the capacity to deal with challenging moments and situations, the easier it will be for you to navigate those moments and transcend them into learning and growth opportunities. I can’t promise you the first time going through something challenging will be easy, but I promise if you keep your head tall and take the time to reflect once you’re on the other side, you’ll find so much to be grateful for in the suffering that molded you into the next best version of yourself.
Journaling and nurturing the relationships in your life
Simply put, the best way to keep gratitude top of mind is to practice, practice, practice. Aside from what’s already been shared, this is an easy practice you can begin right now! Get a notepad, a pen and write down three things that went well today for which you’re grateful for. Repeat this daily and see how that affects your overall emotional and mental wellbeing. You can take it a step further and discuss this with a partner. You can also call a close friend to let them know what in your relationship you are grateful for and how that individual has shaped or changed your life. Do this and see how the quality of your relationships and the output of your interactions changes overtime.
In the U.S., we’re getting ready to celebrate Thanksgiving and many will gather to feast, share stories and express gratitude for one another. As you pause to be with your loved ones, I ask that you take the time to reflect on the significance of this holiday and the dark shadow that lurks in the background. Many Indigenous people and Native Americans lost their lives in the face of this celebration and our history books haven’t covered the full story. For truth, source and knowledge, I am forever grateful.
While I sit with family members this week I am also grateful and thankful for who I am, what I say, think and do. I am thankful for all that I’ve experienced – the good, bad, painful and ugly; including love and losing people that were once dear to me. I recognize that all of these instances have shaped me to be the person I am today.
Most of all, I am thankful for my senses and my capacity and ability to synthesize the world around me – identifying the areas where I’m needed most to drive sustainable change for the future.
Wishing you all an incredible holiday period and can’t wait to speak to you again soon.
Yours Truly,
Antonio
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Sources
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Positive_psychology
https://www.themarginalian.org/2014/02/18/martin-seligman-gratitude-visit-three-blessings/
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6124958/
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Research shows that practicing daily meditation rituals can significantly improve physical and mental well-being. Take the time to add a meditative routine into your daily life, and your capacity for love, courage, wisdom, and originality will expand significantly. Only you can design the life you want to live. Once you understand the scientific and spiritual value that meditation provides, developing your ritual, and blossoming into a truer version of yourself, comes easy.
Earlier this year, I read a book called Journey To Awakening by Ram Dass. Ram is an American spiritual teacher, guru of modern yoga, psychologist, and author. I toyed with several of Ram’s suggested practices, including ecstatic dance, deep breathing and exercise – adapting my previous spiritual practice with the aim to experience “moments of pure awareness.”
Mantra meditation was one that stuck. It helps to inject peaceful determination into my day. According to the scientific analysis Mantra-Based Meditation and Its Beneficial Effects: An Overview, by Jai Paul Dudeja, Professor and Director, Amity University Haryana, India, mantra meditation is “the process of quieting and focusing the mind using a sound, word or phrase recited either aloud or silently.” She goes on to state that, “the mantra meditator achieves a state of ‘restful alertness‘ after performing this process. Everything is in a state of vibration, and when we are in a natural, resonant vibration, we are in a state of good health.”
I practiced mantras for two weeks before I noticed remarkable changes in my daily life:
I’ve taken the time to dive deep into the psychology and science of the practice of meditation. This has helped me to buy-in to the concepts, adapt my ritual, and apply what I was learning to my own personal experience. Here are some of the key highlights from what i found:
Practicing rituals and meditation may seem simple, but the more you practice the more you’ll come to realize the discipline it takes to quiet the mind – getting to a place of stillness and one with the sounds and vibrations of the universe. Developing the habit and skill will not happen overnight, so please give yourself grace and be patient.
Every week, I’ll look to bring you a ritual practice you can add to your mindfulness toolkit that will help you to live the life you’ve always dreamed of and deserve. If you don’t currently practice, today is a great day to start. As always, please don’t hesitate to reach out with any comments or questions.
Yours truly,
Antonio
Aleezé Sattar Moss, Nancy Wintering, Hannah Roggenkamp, Dharma Singh Khalsa, Mark R. Waldman, Daniel Monti, and Andrew B. Newberg.
Effects of an 8-Week Meditation Program on Mood and Anxiety in Patients with Memory Loss.
The Journal of Alternative and Complementary Medicine.Jan 2012.48-53.http://doi.org/10.1089/acm.2011.0051 Published in Volume: 18 Issue 1: January 23, 2012
https://www.npjournal.org/article/S1555-4155(16)30504-9/pdf# https://www.healthline.com/health/mantra-meditation http://www.ijastems.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/v3.i6.5.Scientific-Analysis-of-Mantra-Based-Meditation.pdf
https://www.npjournal.org/article/S1555-4155(16)30504-9/pdf#relatedArticles
I hear this question so often and know there are so many definitions – what is wellness? Many dictionaries, wellness practitioners and researchers have classified wellness in terms of physical health — nutrition, exercise, weight management, etc., but it’s so much more. Wellness is a holistic integration of physical, mental/emotional, financial, social, intellectual, environmental, occupational and spiritual well-being; fueling the body, engaging the mind, and nurturing the spirit.
The term and concept has taken the world by storm in the last few years since the start of the pandemic. Globally, we’re still adapting and looking for ways to adjust to the current state of the world and our existence. What might seem easy and descriptive for some is still a challenge for many. The wellness space today is so crowded and at times can be overwhelming. Trust me, I know and I’ve been there. We’re constantly coming across posts on social media of people pushing these one-size fits all plans and programs, but those don’t begin to scratch the surface. Here’s the truth: you’re the only one that will have the answer on what holistic wellness looks like for you.
My wellness journey began when I was 13 years old, believe it or not. At the time, that’s not how many would have described it, but that was the beginning of this incredible journey on a quest to discover a greater sense of self while exploring what it means and looks like when you’re living a life in alignment with your purpose. Coming into adulthood, my environments and experiences accelerated my journey – listening to the prompts of my life, surrendering to my circumstances and situations – coming to peace with my sexuality, going to the depths of my inner being to explore and discover my limits and grounding in the present moment – transcending these into action as a Wellness Coach on a mission to drive human optimization and help others navigate and experience the light we all possess within us.
Sports and athletics have been my gateway and foundation to my wellness practice. Your body and mind are at the core of all the focus areas we deem holistic wellness. Seeking practical applicable wisdom and through great coaches and mentors, I’ve learned to discipline and maintain these two, which have allowed me to prioritize and find balance across all areas of my life.
Practice
Creating a routine
Routine and consistency are everything. For me, this is one of the ways I hold myself accountable -- to my nutrition, exercise, spiritual and intellectual practice. This helps to provide a sense of direction and ease to operate throughout the day without friction. Also, over time, you can assess how you’re growing as an individual and from there see what you may need to add or remove from your routine to ensure you can be your absolute best.
Advancing your understanding of your emotions
This seems simple right? I thought the same but as I get older and the more people I come in contact with, I’m beginning to realize how many of us lack a general understanding of our emotions and how powerful they are. This past year, I made a commitment to double down here -- equipping myself to better understand what I and others around me are or maybe feeling to have more meaningful connections and to better navigate the world around me and my experiences. Therapy is a great place to start; you can also read books and or get into the habit of journaling to declutter. My favorite read on emotions is Atlas of The Heart, by Brene Brown!
Being intentional about your environment
The people around you will always reflect where you are in your journey! Slow down, and pay attention. Life is always speaking to you. Where and who do you want and know you can be? If your environment is not fertile ground for you to plant yourself and grow, then it may be time to reconsider the people in your life and the role they play. The right people will make all the difference in how you radiate and shine as an individual. You want people that will encourage you to be the best you and will be brutally honest with feedback that nudges you in the right direction.
Nurturing your intellect
Knowledge is power and freedom! I’ve always heard this, but I‘ve now come to know the truth for myself. Everything you could ever imagine wanting to know is now at your fingertips, and all you have to do is take initiative and inspired action to acquire the information you seek. There are endless accounts of people that have led this life successfully, and they have so many valuable and practical tips and insights to help you do the same. Many will say they’re too busy with work, family etc. but there are ways to maximize the use of your time. For me, I love audiobooks and aim to listen to one a week while I do dog walks or en route to the gym.
Committing to selfless service
If all of this sounds daunting, or you're still not sure if you’re ready or where to start, this is a good one. Give back without attachment to any outcomes, and see where that takes you. I promise that over time you’ll begin to connect to the oneness of our existence and from there; you may find and discover purpose, which will in turn set you on the path to holistic wellness.
I know for sure everyone who’s on or has thought about embarking on a wellness journey is capable of fulfilling that intention. Wellness begins with you. What you want and know you can achieve, sits deep within your heart. All you have to do is get to a place of stillness, sink below and find your inner guide - you’ll always know what to do next.
Much love, peace and gratitude. Until next time.